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Lonely People Need A Kind Touch

by Dr. Donna Schwontkowski (ret.) Copyright 2007 Schwontkowski. Reprint rights available, please call.

If you try to make a difference in someone's life every day, this article is for you.

The population in the world as of the end of December 2007, is estimated by the U.S. Census Bureau at 6,636,026,165. The Infoplease website reports that there are 6500 spoken languages and 2000 of these languages have fewer than 1000 people who speak them. It seems incredible that that many different languages are spoken. Of course, there are then thousands of various cultures with lifestyles that differ drastically.

It would seem true that the vast differences in cultures and people wouldn't allow us to have things in common with complete strangers. The facts are however, that we have more in common with different cultures that what we think. Everyone smiles, laugh, and cry and we all have the same basic emotions. And although some cultures may train their people not to show emotions, that doesn't mean that they don't feel them.

The oxymoron is that billions of people live in this world, yet there are lonely people living all over the planet. Even when standing in a crowd of people, some people will still be lonely. That's because they haven't made a connection to anyone in the room.

Most likely, there are people you see every single day who consider themselves to be in the category of lonely people. Forced smiles and fake laughs may cover up the fact that someone may be struggling or hurting. Most people hate to admit that something is wrong. They want to look poised and capable. The harsh facts are that lonely people are everywhere.

Finding the Lonely is Not Difficult

After working in institutions for many years, I discovered that one of the best places to find lonely people is in a nursing home. It's also the place where you can make a difference in someone's life. There are dozens of weary and aged faces that might be staring at you, waiting for a kind gesture or a word of encouragement. Some of them were left there by families and are ignored. Others have no families at all and spend their time sitting in a chair staring out the window. They aren't truly alive in their hearts; they simply exist, passing each moment in desperation. Despite the games and activities that the homes might encourage or organize, these are only temporary solutions for the loneliness deep in their hearts.

There isn't one specific reason for loneliness. It happens to most people at one time or another during their life. Even individuals who seem to be happily married with dozens of friends and relatives can still be very lonely. If you ask some lonely people why they are lonely or what they need to have this issue solved, they often don't have a clue. Their mental state prevents them from finding a solution. That's why you can make a difference in people's lives simply by starting small.

Be the Sunshine in Someone's Day

Assume that everyone is lonely in one way or another. A kind smile, a warm gesture or simple touch on someone's arm, a simple question asking them a question about their life and perhaps one of their accomplishments will go far in the life of a lonely person. And since you never know who is lonely and who is not, it can pay off by becoming that way to many people you meet. The payoff is the knowledge that you planted a good seed, a word of encouragement in the heart of others.

There are difficult times in life such as a divorce or moving to a new town. When you find out that someone is going through these two situations, assume they're lonely and do a good deed. Generally speaking, no good things come out of loneliness.

You can help some of the lonely people in the world feel a bit less lonely. Visit some residents at a nursing home or volunteer. Residents at nursing homes can be adopted if you call and make arrangements ahead of time. Tell them that you would like to become friends with someone who needs a little cheering up. But remember, cheering up the lonely can be started by cheering up those who are around you at the grocery store, the bank, in church, and anywhere else you go. Plant seeds of encouragement everywhere. Make a difference in someone's life today.

Additional Resources on Depression and Fun

1. For facts about depression, see this site.Depression Kills
2. Christian author speaks about how to laugh again. Laugh Again
3. Sometimes you just need ideas on what to do to bring the fun back into your relationship. 70 Ways to Have Fun